you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
