have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize