pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
