i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
