I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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