So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
