i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
