you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize