I love black thongs
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
