ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
