porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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