hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
