At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
