I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
