why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
