Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
