Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
