that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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