Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
