So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
dude i'm inner monologue high
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
