If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
