i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
