You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize