Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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