Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
