She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
