so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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