I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I wish there were birth control emojis
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
