what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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