yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
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