he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
