You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
