You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
