i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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