I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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