It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I did not marry a roomba.
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