Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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