i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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