I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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