I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
