This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
