Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
