Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
