what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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