3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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