at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize