Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
