Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize