I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize