he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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