i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
