You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize