Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
