bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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