he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
