Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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