Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Randomize
