Non-Jews are for practice
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
