do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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