thus making me awesome and them whores
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
