Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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