P.S. I can't hear my feet
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
