We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize