My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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