i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
