talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
