so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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