When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
A+ Viking dick
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
