his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
