It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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